I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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