Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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