we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
