im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
And then my night got REAL pukey
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