We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
