can u get pink eye on your cock?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
