Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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