I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
