Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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