I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
