I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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