He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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