You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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