I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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