i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
