David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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