'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
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