remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize