Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
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