I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
