if i can run in heels then i can drive
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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