where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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