what if every blade of grass was a penis?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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