I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
