I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
