His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
