Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Come share oat with me in your robe
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
