woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
me + whiskey = a bad person
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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