I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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