I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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