I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
