it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
The uberlube is also flammable
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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