So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
