it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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