my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
