He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
