one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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