And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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