I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Are my feet made of real feet?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Your shirt... Was in my pants
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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