CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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