anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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