We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
