Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
