"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
