Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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