Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Houston, we have a blender
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
