Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
