And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
