Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
