I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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