I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
