I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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