You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
