I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
