I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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