She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
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