sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
ugly people sure do ruin things
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize