New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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