I can text with my tongue
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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