UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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