Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
