Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Randomize
